Pillbox (Day 16)

I noticed many hexagonal structures dotted along the Thames at intervals between Abingdon and Lechlade. I learned that these structures are Pillboxes from the Second World War. These structures stood sentry over the waterway as gunning towers in case the UK was invaded and marked one part of the network of defences to be manned by the home guard. 
I do not wish to enter or go too close. They are too cold for this hot summer day, the stone is too thick, the walkway inside too narrow and the air too still. Even from the outside, I feel claustrophobic and that the coolness inside would be oppressive, rather than offering refuge. The imaginings of the horrors of war stop me dead. Even though these particular structures were never used in a war, many were. Many are still used today.
I know that if I had been born a few decades earlier, it could have been me standing in there, or my father, my mother, or my brothers. Dying or dealing death. The leaden feeling in my stomach exchanged for real leaden bullets. I know that an accident of birth and geography means that I have avoided personally experiencing war thus far. I give a moment’s thought to those who will experience war today, to those who will be forced from their homes by conflict, who will no longer have a river to walk along. I say a prayer for myself and all I hold dear and renew my intention to stand in solidarity for peace. I send a jovial message and a silly photo to the family group chat in an attempt to shake myself out of these thoughts. But really, I am reaching out to those I love: “Are you safe?” ….. “Are you still with me?”


Watercolour and acrylic on paper